Star and Spirit
November is upon us already, and many of us are looking forward to celebrating the upcoming holiday season with the special traditions we share with family and friends. But for many people, this time of the year brings up painful memories of loss and reminders of those who are no longer with us. In this month’s blog post, we consider whether horses can feel the pang of loss and if and how they experience grief. There is little research in this area, and the topic of whether horses can grieve itself brings up philosophical questions about the capacity of animals to feel specific emotions such as sadness over loss.
In my own very personal experience with this situation, I want to share the story of Star and Spirit, two Appaloosas donated to my equine assisted therapy program. They were a bonded pair of mares who had been together most of their lives, and behaved much as human best friends do, spending most of their time together eating, resting, playing and grooming each other. While not unfriendly to the rest of the herd, they seemed to prefer spending most of their time apart from the rest of the horses. Star tended to be the one who initiated much of the time, with Spirit following her lead. Star appeared to decide when the pair would go to the trough for a drink, to the round bale for a snack, or off to the shade trees to rest, with Spirit following faithfully behind. Star also ran interference when a client came out to the pasture to meet the herd. Star would position herself between Spirit and the person seeking to greet her, making it difficult for people to interact with Spirit unless I asked Star to stay with me to free up Spirit for a visit. Star seemed uncomfortable with the separation and would rejoin Spirit as soon as possible. As a result, clients rarely chose Spirit to work with, and I often wondered if she welcomed this protection or would have enjoyed more freedom to connect with the people who tried to visit with her.
Star became very ill in the spring of her second year in my herd. As her condition deteriorated despite all of the interventions my dedicated veterinarian and I tried, I watched Spirit slowly take over the lead role in their relationship, guiding Star to food, water and shelter, and protecting her from other horses and humans who came near. As Star’s confidence and well-being declined, Spirit became more assertive and protective. However, when Star passed away, Spirit completely shut down. After searching the pasture for her friend, she withdrew from the rest of the herd, standing listlessly under some shade trees with her eyes half closed, barely responding to other horses or people when they came near to check on her. She lost her appetite, and any interest in connecting with others.
According to Dr. Renata Medonca, a scientist at the University of Coimbra in Portugal, “Some studies suggest that after the death of a herdmate, horses show signs of anxiety, cessation of feeding and social withdrawal. Therefore, it is important to consider horses’ needs when they are facing a situation of loss before asking them to complete or perform their daily tasks.”
Just like people, horses have different personalities and attachment styles. Some may be severely affected by the loss of an equine companion, while others may show little response. For those who are affected, common signs of grief may include the following:
Generalized anxiety: loss of appetite, cessation of feeding and social withdrawal
Listlessness: low energy and lack of interest in normal routines and activities
Vigilance: constantly scanning for threat in the environment or restless movement such as pacing and stamping of hooves, repeatedly neighing as if calling out to the missing herd mate
Separation anxiety: the remaining horse constantly searches for his lost companion
According to Doctor of Veterinary Medicine Kenneth Marcella, it is important to honor your horse’s grief process while not allowing him to fall into poor health. You can encourage him to eat by mixing his food with something tempting he enjoys and keeping him company at meal time. Gentle grooming and scratching in his favorite places can offer comfort and relaxation to a distressed horse. If the death resulted in the remaining horse living alone, consider acquiring a companion for your horse or moving him to a pasture where he can be with others. They are social mammals who live in herds and do not do well without at least one other herd mate.
With a great deal of support and encouragement, Spirit eventually began moving out of her depressed state and became more engaged again. I was assisted in my efforts to comfort her by the enthusiastic participation of Copper, the most social and outgoing member of my herd. He insisted on standing with her even when she discouraged him by baring her teeth and pinning her ears at him. He faithfully followed her wherever she went, not taking no for an answer when she tried to drive him away or evade his attention. Eventually, with unflappable persistence Copper won her over, and now they are almost as inseparable as Star and Spirit were. He helped her become better friends with the rest of the herd too, and she gained the confidence to introduce herself to clients and begin relationships with them as well.
If this season brings up painful memories of grief and loss for you, please don’t suffer alone. Everyone needs a Copper in their life to remind them that connection and care can help heal a broken heart!
Spirit and Copper
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